The Second HMS Manchester Association

Once upon a time in this matelot's knacker bag there lived a large but happy family of spunky bits. It was an easy enough life and everyone was pretty relaxed about things. That is, except one particular sperm called Harry, who was unusually active, in fact he was forever jogging about and doing press-ups and weight training.

One day, some of the lazier sperms asked Harry why he was so obsessed with physical fitness. "Well," said Harry, "It's like this, only one of us sperms gets to make a party preggers, so its going to be a race with you lot and I'm making fxcking sure that I'll be the one with the strength to get there first."

Sure enough, a couple of days later they all felt a rumbling noise and the atmosphere gradually got hotter and hotter. They all knew it was now time to go. Suddenly, they were all released into a long dark tunnel and ahead of them they could all see Harry digging out like fxck, well in front. Obviously Harry's plan was working a treat, but then to their great surprise they saw Harry stop and turn round, and then start to swim back towards them as fast as he could.

"What's happened?" the others shouted. "Get back, get back, get back", screamed Harry, "It's a blow job!"

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There were only two candidates for the position of Lion tamer with the local circus. The first was a beautiful 18 year old blonde, and the second was a six foot five inch ex killick stoker from a well known Type 42. It was decided that they should both show their expertise in the ring and it was agreed that the ladies first rule would apply.

The beautiful and buxom piece of fanny entered the cage having been given a lion taming brief by the ringmaster, to the surprise of both Jack and the circus staff, the blonde party removed all her lagging and crashed out on the cage floor. To the utter amazement of all the gathered spectators, the lions did not attack her. Instead they approached her, started purring and licked her from head to toe, including…..

The ringmaster was visibly impressed, and turned to Jack and asked, "Can you do that?" "No sweat," said Jack, "but first you've got to get rid of those fxcking lions".

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LATE ITEM

Whilst compiling the Buzz, we have been inundated with Spam emails purporting to come from our members. Please, please if you email either of us put D95 and a subject on your email…otherwise that absolute rib-tickling funny you want to share with us may end up in the bin! Thanks!

There was this young Jenny wren having her first passionate love affair, and her young lover, a star on a certain Pompey based Type 42 had just got as far as caressing her breasts. Feeling rather nervous she whispered to our hero, "Do you think that one of my breasts is smaller than the other?"

"Of course not," said Jack, "If anything, it's bigger!"

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