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HMS Manchester Association
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The Buzz - The Association's Very Own Newsletter
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1st October 2011


Shipmates!

Welcome to the 10th edition of "The Buzz", the 2nd HMS Manchester Associations annual news and views letter.  If this is the first edition you have read, we hope it meets with your approval.  If this is in fact the 10th edition to come your way, stand by for a chuck up, 'cos you deserve one!  2MA members can rest assured that no phones were hacked into during the production of this paper, but your oppo might just have stitched you up!

So here we are at the tail-end of 2011, another crap summer has come and gone, and for 2MA it has been a very, very busy year - in fact we've been snowers!  We never imagined for one moment 2MA would be burning and turning ten years after it's creation, but it is, and we have enjoyed yet another very successful year culminating in our 10th Annual Re-union.  Meanwhile, and sadly but inevitably, the Mighty Manch, that magnificent warship that has drawn us all together has finally been taken out of service after 29 very remarkable years.  It's hard to believe that the far greater majority of the final ship's company were not even around when the first commishioners were laying the foundations and creating an ethos that endured right up until the final day.

In the aftermath of Re-union 10, and in a quiet moment of reflection we tried to put our finger on exactly why 2MA was still flourishing.  Obviously, we had the odd beer while we reflected - an essential part of our decision making progress - and we eventually came to the conclusion that it is simply down to the magnificent support we have received from day one from a stalwart group of members consisting of:-



Take a bow Shipmates!  You deserve one!

Most of you have attended nearly every re-union, and when you have been prevented from attending, you have invariably stuck your hand in your pocket and sent a donation.  The Association owes much of it's success to your unstinting support, and whilst we would be first to acknowledge that  we have been fortunate to have all been further joined by a number of like minded folk, you started and kept the ball rolling, been on hand for guidance and advice when we've asked for it, and drunk our beer when we've offered it, and for that Shipmates, Thank You!

Mega chuck up completed, and returning to our normal format, here is a quick sitrep on all the other activities 2MA has been involved in since our last edition.

AUGUST 2010

Re-union 9 is nearly two months behind us, but the work still goes on.  There have been bills to pay, accounts to prepare, and our normal post
re-union party game of re-uniting people with their property.  It's a two way experience, we have jackets and ties and other personal items to return to their owners, whilst at the same time we attempt to recover the missing name tallies from various locations.  The winner is always Postman Prat!  This month also heralded the arrival of Mel Saul, a first commissioner Wafu and RNAS Portland consultant, and the first custodian of the after sun deck, into our motley band.

SEPTEMBER 2010

It's now time to collate all our info and write the Buzz, and then find some kind hearted soul who will print it for us for a small alcoholic reward if we provide all the materials.  Yes, we could achieve this on our own printer, but with 20 odd double sided sheets and 200+ copies of each to print, this would literally take days and Alyson wasn't too keen on doing the middle!  Meanwhile, just across La Manche, Parisien traffic is brought to a grinding halt as popular pulverisers of the pedals and 2MA members, Dan Daly and Roger Jones complete their charity cycle ride in aid of the Royal British Legion in fine style, and Lennie Bilton texted us to say he was shifting ale in the Angry Friar, and not a matelot in sight!

Dave Arthur
Don Hazeldon
Ian Poulter
Boff Bancroft
Don Hiller
Pete Rosier
Pete Berrow
Alan Ivison
Jack Russell
Lenny Bilton
Steve Jack
Tony Shingler
Joe Cocker
Roger Jones
Mike Smith
Dan Daly
Sam McKeown
Ray Vere
Mick D'Arcy
Dave Merrick
Knocker with the big Phalanx
Al Denham
Bob Mullen
Slinger Woods
Gary Dudley
Ned Naylor
Keith Woolven
Connie Francis
Terry Partington
Sting Wray
Jack Guntrip
Ian Perryman
Skid Wroe
Glyn Harris


Roger Jones and Dan Daly proudly display the White Ensign at the Arc de Triomphe




                           

In the meantime, the Mighty Manch is halfway through her final deployment.  As it happens, prior to departure, Warship Wonderful has been chosen for another "Life in the Pusser" TV Documentary, and by way of a change this one is free of brass tops and flat tops.  However, the TV company are a little concerned about bimbling around on the grey and crinkley stuff as winter approaches as it is rumoured that it often gets a little lumpy!...so the film crew and the Mighty Manch are hastily despatched to the West Indies, where the weather is warm, the sea is blue, and there is an array of classic runs ashore…and a certain, soon to be famous, ocean going coconut!

OCTOBER 2010

Back at 2MA HQ, Gary Kempsford, a full career matelot who cracked two drafts to D95 (92-94 and 2000) and Paul "Boxer" Graham from Leyland, Lancs, who was an AB Radar on the first commish, willingly surrender their street cred and clamber onboard 2MA.  The last edition of the Buzz (No. 9) hits the streets,…to critical acclaim, and we are forced to issue an immediate apology on account our editor inexplicably and without malice aforethought confused two of Pompey's more famous pubs, namely Ruby's - where the good guys go, and Martha's, where the gay guys go (allegedly!) and so when we just happened to mention Shippy Shipman met Aggie Christie in the latter named establishment, they were both somewhat keen that we issued a retraction!  (Male bonding is one thing, male bonding in Martha's is another, allegedly!)  We were of course were very happy to oblige, on account we do like an element of truth to appear in our paper (News of the World please note - oh no, you can't!)  and we were not influenced in any way by the fact that both Aggie and Shippy work for the "Old Bill"!  We were Guilty as charged!... In the meantime, Martha's has closed!

NOVEMBER 2010

A relatively quiet month, which we later learned was the calm before the storm!  With filming nearly complete, D95 is on her way home, and thoughts turn towards the imminent De-commissioning.  We field a number of enquiries from 2MA members keen to be on the jetty on the last day, while others let it be known of their intentions to contact long lost oppos currently serving onboard, and give them an offer they simply cannot refuse!  Meanwhile, in a sleepy corner of West Sussex, Roger Caldwell - a POWEM(O) on the first commish contacts the outside world and slaps in to join 2MA.

DECEMBER 2010

Thursday December 9th dawns bright and sunny with a chilly wind, and anchored in Spithead is that graceful greyhound of the oceans, the Mighty Manch, busily preparing for her final operational homecoming.  We despatch our raving reporter complete with box brownie, to capture the moment for posterity, and at his regular vantage point between the Round Tower and Billy Mannings, he is soon joined by another member of the Press Corps - complete with hoofing great camera, and a lens longer than a porn stars penis!  As it happens, Billy Bigcamera is on assignment from a well known newspaper that we shall call the "Currant Bun", and he is not too chuffed at being detailed to record the Mighty Manch's homecoming, when, at the same time students were rioting in London and he wanted to be in the thick of the action!  However, he soon became much more lucid when our own reporter quickly explained that he had been handed a once in a lifetime opportunity to record Her Majesty's Finest entering harbour, whilst our astute representative was sure there would be other opportunities for Billy to photograph rioting up in the Smoke…which suggests Billy might have been busy in early August!  Entering harbour completed in fine style, the happy snappers exchanged business cards, with Billy promising copies of his phots - the take ratio being 40-1 - for 2MA to use on the www.

No sooner had Billy bxggered off to London in his Beamer, our raving reporter received a call from the aforementioned newspaper.  The conversation went something like this -

"You must be really sad that HMS Manchester is being scrapped as part of the defence cuts?"

"No", said our man, "I'm naturally sad that she is being decommissioned, but Manchester, like all the other Type 42's is very old, and the Navy has had 29 wonderful years from her.  Her passing has nothing to do with recent defence cuts."  The newspaper chap was undeterred and continued to prompt and probe for any anti Pusser type quote without success, before finally and abruptly giving up!  We later learned he had contacted another equally astute 2MA founder member that day and got the same answers!  As a result on page 41 in the following morning's paper - next to a half page expose on Morrison's £4.85 per head Crimbo dinner, complete with colour phot of a well stuffed turkey, the following grossly inaccurate article appeared:-




Cuts sink destroyer

DESTROYER HMS Manchester docked for the last time yesterday after being scrapped as part of the defence cuts.

The 18-year-old Type 42 ship fought in the first Gulf War and made two recent Caribbean drug busts, as well as helping with hurricane efforts in St Lucia.

Commander Rex Cox said after she tied up at Portsmouth:  "The crew have performed magnificently and risen to every challenge in the finest traditions of the 'Mighty Manch' and the Navy."

Former chief petty officer Steve Swain said;  "She was the finest Type 42 that was ever built."

She's still afloat!

Wrong!


The first Gulf War was more than 18 years ago. We told you she was 29 years old!  The hurricane did ok unassisted!  Perhaps the word "relief" should have been added!

Crew?  We are certain the Skipper would have used the more traditional words "Ship's Company"!  But we accept the Sun does like to use four letter words when it can!

Stevie gets his name spelt incorrectly, and the only accuracy is in the last line!

No phot in the paper, and no phots for 2MA from Billy Bigcamera either - but an interesting experience on how certain sections of the media go about their business!

Meanwhile, in the post, we receive the long awaited screed on all the events leading up to the decommissioning which includes a 2 night passage from Pompey to Liverpool, a Service of Thanksgiving and Remembrance in Manchester Cathedral, the opportunity to witness the return of the Freedom Scroll, the Decommissioning Ceremony on South Railway Jetty, and the final, final, Ship's Company Dinner Dance.  The bad news is, with the exception of the church service and the dinner dance, and in line with the ship's other  eight affiliations, we have been allocated a maximum of two places for each event, and we know we will have our work cut out to satisfy the requests to attend from our members.

As we all know, Crimbo is always a socially busy and confusing time and even busier when you have 200+ Association members to contact and a tight deadline of early January to meet.  Aided and abetted by our acting local unpaid secretary, Alyson, we produced a four page screed of our own regarding the decommissioning, banged in a crimbo card for good measure, and e-mailed it individually 200 plus times all inside a week.  Easier said than done, trust us!...especially when you've had a few scoops!

E-mails were flying back and forth thick and fast throughout the crimbo period, and by early January we knew we had 62 association members who wanted to be involved, which was just slightly greater than the number of places available.  It appears we have a problem!  So we decide to hatch a "cunning plan"!  When the ship's company returns from post deployment leave, it will be time for us to go for a few bevvies with one of our contacts!

Earlier in the Buzz we dished out a mega chuck up to 34 of our members for their support right from the outset of 2MA.  Well here is another!  Step forward John Bullock, (that's with the left foot first!) - a two and a half of the engineering variety, and our Ship Liaison Officer (sadly now retired) who throughout his tenure, and when he wasn't cuddling, cajoling and changing his 'babies', went out of his way to support and assist 2MA, and it must be said quite seriously that it is down to his unstinting efforts (and that of an accomplice) that eventually nearly everyone was able to attend all the events they wanted to.  Cheers, Shipmate, your efforts were very much appreciated.  Thank You!