Funnies - British Style......
Jenny was counting all the 1p's and 2p's out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason.
Jack thought to himself "She's going through the change."
Jack was in the pub, when he heard a couple of dickheads saying that they wouldn't feel safe on an aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman.
What a pair of sexist tw@ts, he thought, I mean, it's not as if she'd have to reverse the bloody thing!
Hampshire Police are hunting the 'knitting needle nutter' who has stabbed six people in the arse in the last 48 hours. They believe the attacker could be following some kind of pattern.
Jenny bought some 'rocket salad' yesterday...but it went off before she could eat it!
There was this teddy bear working on a building site. He goes for a tea break and when he returns he notices his pick has been stolen. The bear is angry and reports the theft to the foreman.
The foreman grins at the bear and says, "Oh I forgot to tell you, today's the day the teddy bears have their pick nicked."
Murphy says to Paddy, "What ya talking to an envelope for?"
"I'm sending a voicemail ya thick sod!"
Jack has got a new asian neighbour, evidently he has travelled the world, swum with sharks, wrestled bears and climbed the highest mountain, as well as visiting both poles.
It will come as no surprise to learn his name is Bindair Dundat!
(Knocker with the big Phalanx - 2011)
