There were five qualified Chief of the watches, Myself, Simon Marriott, Rog Jones, Knobby Clark, and Keith Midgley, - Keith had flown back to the UK on compassionate leave and we were on patrol in the Straits of Hormuz and were due to be relieved by Charybdis, however, the Cherry B had Air conditioning problems which meant she had no radar and had lost some weapons systems too, so when we came out of the Straits we were going to have to go back in to do her patrol. Before commencing this, it was decided that we would raft up alongside the Tidespring with Cherry B on the other side for a swift drift in the Gulf of Oman. I knew the Air conditioning Tiff on the Cherry B [Ray Francis] so us clankies decided it would be a jolly good wheeze to take a cold pint of CSB over to the clankies sweltering in the Chiefs mess on the Cherry B - Knobby Clark was on watch - so myself, Wobbly Wagg, Simon , and Rog Jones duly embarked on this mission of mercy. Having arrived in the Chiefs mess on the Cherry B, we found that their beer cooler was working fine and that despite there being no air conditioning, if sufficient volumes of cool CSB were consumed ones body temperature could be maintained at something like normal levels! The Cherry B clanky crew being somewhat miffed at the Manchester "hit" squad decided to disconnect the tannoy so that no pipes could be heard in the mess! [eventually, Simon [always the sensible one] said something like "what time are we sailing? "Ah don't worry they'll pipe when we are due to go" replied Wobbly. Whilst I was intent on downing just one more pint of the Cherry B's ice cold CSB, Simon went up onto the upper deck to find out when we were sailing only to find only one warship tied up to the Tidespring and the Mighty Manchester was a tiny speck on the horizon. OH SH*T! I think were the exact words used when he duly informed us of this fact, (this was of course immediately followed by raucous laughter from the Cherry B bastards in the mess who had stitched us up!)
Messages were duly sent from Bridge to Bridge and the Manchester ground to a halt, and the buffer was woken from his afternoon siesta and told to arrange a water taxi for the miscreants! Meanwhile conversations regarding sheep and lambs were taking place in the Cherry B's mess, so more beer was consumed whilst awaiting transport! The buffer on the Mighty Manch knowing we were all in whites - and being the kindly chap that he was, (an upstanding non drinking never sh*ts on an oppo type,) made sure that when we arrived alongside he had selected the scrambling net that was dunked overboard in an oil slick in Mombasa, and had organised the whole ships company to man the side. How he managed to train them all so well in the chorus of that well known Naval Ballad "Privileged leave - Privileged Leave" in such a short time has always amazed me! Indeed - Never in the history of being adrift, has the return of so few been witnessed by so many! One other part of the welcoming committee was the MEO who wasn't quite as pleased to see us, and was rather more intent on having our buttons!
After the subsequent patrol, us four miscreants were lined up at the Skippers table and charged with being absent for four hours. The Skipper, struggling to keep a straight face due to the dit value of the enterprise, greatly enhanced by the cult status we enjoyed - partly due to the Manchester Evening News - christening us "The Cherry B Four", issued fines of £65 and wisely decided that as the offence took place at sea, we could not possibly be removed from the privileged leave list!" (Good dit Sting, the only thing you didn't mention was the sixteen attempts you made to put your foot on the scrambling net. It did ever so slightly give the game away!)
Outside since June 98, "Sting" is now the Overseas Business Manager for a combined heat and power corporation. His hobbies include sailing his yacht Seashell - where be also frequently doubles up as bar manager! Our Pavarotti look alike hero is a stalwart member of 2MA.
